Top 8 reasons you should marry a female physician

A couple of years ago, I asked a friend of mine how she met her husband.  It was at a bar, and when she asked his occupation he replied, “I work for the city.”  She took that to mean he was a construction worker.  They began dating and quickly fell in love.  Much to her surprise about a month into their relationship, she learned he actually played for the NFL team in their city.

Two nights ago, I had the pleasure of having dinner with two very pretty surgical residents.  As they are both single, the conversation quickly turned towards the “single life” here in our city.  One began to tell me she uses dental hygienist as her go-to occupation when meeting men, while the other uses flight attendant.  I have to admit, the flight attendant bit is pretty genius – it actually explains our crazy schedules pretty well!

But as I thought about this more and more, I realized that I hadn’t been surprised that they come up with alternative careers for themselves when they meet men for the first time.  I wasn’t surprised, because I too, operate under the assumption that although NFL players might want to hide their occupation because of too much interest, we female physicians hide ours because of lack of interest.

But it isn’t just me that thinks male and female physicians are viewed very differently on the dating scene.  Think about it.  On Grey’s Anatomy, you had Dr. McDreamy and then came Dr. McSteamy.  But where was all the fanfare for the Dr. McFoxy or Dr. McHotties on the show?

So, in an effort to enlighten the public, I am going to list my top 8 reasons for why anyone and everyone should date or marry a female physician (and yes, this includes surgeons!).  For all my Dr. McHotties out there, this is for you!! 

1.  We know CPR.

Someone once gave me the advice to marry the person you want to be in the trenches with.  In other words, when the s&%^ is hitting the fan, who do you want next to you, being your partner, and getting you through the hard times?  So, why not be with someone who knows how to save your life, literally?

2.  We understand hard work.

Whether it is gaining admittance into medical school, suffering through Histology, placing into a residency, or working for 30 hours straight without sleep, we know what hard work looks like, because we have done it.  Marriage, at times, can require a lot of work, and trust me, you want a partner who will work as hard as you in ensuring each other’s happiness.

3.  We handle stress well and multi-task like pros.

Your in-laws have stayed too long, the baby is screaming, the cable is out, the game is on, and who knows what your firstborn is doing, wait, why is there water coming from underneath the bathroom door?  Well, the saying in my house is, “At least no one is bleeding”.  And then, if someone is bleeding, expect to hear, “No worries, all bleeding stops.”  Because it really is true, all bleeding does stop, and we understand this.  Stopping a bathroom flood in comparison to stopping a bleeding subclavian artery or delivering a baby with an umbilical cord around its neck?  Cake walk.

4.  We are financially viable.

You may make more money than us, we may make more than you.  Guess what?  We don’t care.  You should appreciate that we can help our family and will always have a job.  Life is unpredictable.  If you lose your job or become disabled or want to go back to school, you won’t have to worry about how your family will eat or be clothed.  Think outside the box, guys, it is your family’s income and stability that matters, and we will always be able to help.

5.  We are smart.

Um, duh.  If you can’t understand the benefits of being married to an intelligent woman, then I can’t help you.  I don’t do brain transplants.

6.  We have good personalities.

Being a doctor isn’t just being a good technician.  We have to sell ourselves and our skills to our patients.  We have to engender trust from strangers, which requires a good “bedside manner”, ie a good personality!

7.  We tend to be low maintenance.

When you have slept in bunk beds in your late twenties and lived off of the most likely expired peanut butter and graham crackers found in the dark recesses of random cabinets, high maintenance really isn’t in our vocabulary.  We don’t expect limos and hot air balloons on dates.  Just show up and have food served at something other than room temperature and you are way ahead in the game!

8.  We have a unique perspective on life.

We take care of sick people, we have witnessed the moments that Death has come to take our patients away, and we have comforted those left behind.  When this is how you spend your days, we are much less likely to give you hell over forgetting to pick up your underwear off the floor.

Although, for real, pick up your damn underwear 🙂

McHotties rule!

Advertisements

My spare tire injury, another troubling sign and symptom of weight loss

Last time I was on call, I apparently injured my spare tire with my pager clip. On my post-call day, I discovered this sore spot in a very soft area around my left waist-hip junction. It was red. The skin bore a 2cm abrasion. Five days later it still has not healed completely.

I know what you are thinking…..

….”Who on earth wears a pager? In 2013?”

While use of this now archaic communication device was obviously the greatest risk factor for sustaining such a work-related injury, I could have taken some preventative measures as well, say by losing the spare tire. This, however, is incredibly hard to do.

Everyone’s body picks its favorite spot to accumulate weight. That spot, then, is usually the very last one to shed weight when pounds are lost or muscles are toned. In most of my women friends, this spot happens to be the bottom and the hips. Not me though. I tend to pack my weight where middle aged men do.

These last several months, as I have worked towards a more powerful core and increased cardiovascular endurance through pilates, running, zumba, and now the occasional barre class, this trouble spot of mine has become more obvious. Almost paradoxically, the increased mass and tone of the gluteal muscles, the transversalis, rectus, and oblique abdominal muscles, and the lats have increased the prominence of this wheel of fat that envelops my lower anterior waist/lumbar triangle area. I am convinced it will only go away after I shed these last 15lbs. Now, to be sure, the tire has gone more from SUV to compact car due to my efforts at exercising and eating habitually well; but still, I’d like the deflate this thing once and for all.

Meanwhile, in addition to this persistent extra auto part around my waist, I do have other troubling signs and symptoms of weight loss. These are the things that create hassles despite the dial on the scale going in the desired direction. I will review just a few of these troubling signs and symptoms of weight loss below.

The watch that I have had going on 6 years now is too big. I am annoyed that it spins around on my wrist but it is just such a pain to remove the links that I have ignored this annoyance for some months now. Yesterday, I had a ring just fly off my hand because it is so loose. I don’t really want to wear my wedding ring on a different finger so I will have to put that on my list of things I will never get around to getting done. My thighs no longer touch when I wear yoga pants or running tights. Luckily, given the range of spandex and elastane, this sign and symptom of weight loss has not resulted in another item on my to-do list and therefore is not particularly troubling.

What is most troubling though are the signs and symptoms of weight loss evident in my slacks. Despite all my hard work, none of the slacks that I currently own are too big at the waist. Nope, not a single one. The spare tire (see above) does a fine job keeping these slacks on my waist but they are loose, really unflatteringly loose,  through the hips, thighs, and legs. The result, unfortunately, is what you might think is a growing obsession with palazzo pants. While some say that these are coming back into style, this is not a fashion trend I am willing to hold on to the spare tire for.

So I guess I will put buy ‘new pants’ right under ‘lose spare tire’ on the to-do list.