How to fake sleep


Sleep deprivation is a part of most people’s lives at some point or another.  For some of us, it is fleeting, memorable, and provides fodder for cocktail conversation.  “Oh my gosh I stayed up for _ hours in a row to finish this work project” or “Remember when we only slept for 2 hours during finals week in college” or maybe even “So, this night we had in Vegas…”.  I believe for most women, however, whether it is because our husband snores, we have a family bed, still sleep training, or because of our careers, sleep deprivation has become a fact of life.

I am, unfortunately, part of this latter group.  So, what is a girly girl like me who hates to look completely ragged all the time to do about this?  Fake it, of course! With the help of some very awesome products and about 8 minutes of prep work, I definitely can hide “most” of my tired appearance.  As you will see, the bloodshot eyes are beyond repair.  Recently, when using the following combination of products, I have gotten a lot of compliments about how “well-rested” I look, and although it makes me chuckle, I feel I should share.

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This “Before” picture was taken this morning.  I was on call last night, got no sleep, left straight from the hospital, and took a Pure Barre class.  I then got home, played with my baby for an hour, then laid him down for a nap.  I have zero makeup on and I did one eye first so you could see the comparison, then finished the other half.

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Step 1. Cle de Peau Concealer – Yes, it is as awesome as they say.  Yes, it is also as expensive as they say.  However, I will say it lasts a really long time, doesn’t crease and well, it works.  This is definitely my first step.  I learned this trick from a makeup artist to apply this as a fairly thick layer, then use my foundation over to blend it out.


Step 2.  Christian Dior Airflash Spray Foundation applied with Bare Minerals Soft Focus brush.  I am in love with this foundation. You can apply it directly to your face, but I end up getting it in my hair, which since it is dark makes me look like I have (more) grays, yikes.  Instead, I apply it on the brush then swirl on my face, blending out the concealer.

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Step 3.  Yves St. Laurent Touche Eclat Radiant Touch.  So ladies, no matter what they tell you at the makeup counter, this is Not a concealer.  This is not going to erase your dark circles.  It will, however, add brightness to your eye area and help erase any fine lines you might have.  Another trick I learned is to you use this around your nose area, where the nostrils meet your face.  Almost everyone has a fair amount of either slight hyperpigmentation or redness around this area.  Again, it won’t provide tons of coverage, but it will add brightness.  I then used my same foundation brush to blend.

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Step 4.  Laura Gellar Wonder Wand.  One of the best highlighters out there.  Not too white, silvery, or gold.  I use this with just one press into the inner corner of my eyelid.  Later, when I share how I fake cheekbones, this product will make another appearance.


Step 5. Laura Mercier kohl eye pencil in Brown Copper.  This is an awesome eyeliner – easy to apply, great color.  In fact, it is so great, it is the only eyeliner I will use other than my absolute favorite, Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner.  However, when my dark circles are up front and center stage, I find that a softer kohl pencil in brown rather than black is a little kindler and gentler.  Now, I only use a tiny amount on the outer third of the lower lids, and only slightly more on the outer corner of the upper lids.  Again, I am trying to just slightly define the eye area instead of darken it.

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Step 6.  Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz.  Eyebrow pencils can be tricky, because they tend to create thick lines.  Powders are great, but require another brush and can be messier to apply.  This pencil is great because it applies tiny (in a good way!) lines, which appear more natural.  It also comes with an eyebrow brush on the other side, equaling again, less to carry.

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Step 7.  Christian Dior Iconic Overcurl Mascara.  Eyelash curlers are awesome, and the curl it adds to lashes definitely opens them up and can help you look more awake.  But again, following the theme of traveling light and doing this quickly, it adds another step.  Instead, I use this mascara, which curls lashes nicely and saves another minute.

My “After” pictures – after I finished the other side.

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And voila, done!  This literally takes less than 10 minutes, but helps me look and feel refreshed.  It may not be the month catch up sleep that I need, but it’s a start 🙂  So, what are your sleep faking skills?

Family bonding rituals….yawn

Earlier in the week, I laid on the guilt pretty thick during an office Yankee Swap as I aggressive vied to keep the gingerbread house kit. It was perfect: four miniature houses, one for each of us, everything we need in the package. I would have to put no additional effort into making this family gingerbread house decorating thing happen. No baking. No churning butter cream. No buying decorative gum drops.

“You wouldn’t want to deny me the chance to make these houses with my kids, would you?” I bellowed. “Think of how happy they will be that I am doing something crafty with them!” I exclaimed. “Awe come on, they’re perfect for my kids’ tiny little hands; you have grown up hands.” I protested.

The gingerbread house kit was, in fact, the most popular item of the Yankee Swap. I lost it in the end but the aggressor who took it from only wanted the scratch tickets attached to it. This kind-hearted soul took pity on my mothering woes and let me have the kit.

Score! You can just call me Mommy of the Year.

So last night was the night. I had had the whole day off. Did a little bit of house work. Ran some errands. Took the kids to see Santa. And the time had come to make the assemble the sweet, cinnamon walls. While the walls were setting, we would watch Rudolf. Perfect. What better a family bonding event. After the show we would decorate the houses. I had proactively gotten my roof done even though the structure kept falling apart since I did not let the walls set. Perhaps it was because I knew what was coming…

….And then it happened. Like it always happens. I fell asleep.

For several years now, any Friday night I am not on call is family movie night. I have never made it through the opening credits of a single film. Nope. Not once. I have convinced myself that the kids are at least excited to be doing what ever we have decided to do and appreciate that we are all together even if I am slumped over with a trail of drool slinking down my jaw. This, sadly, is just one example of how I often just fall asleep when I let my guard down. Unfortunately, home is really the only place I can do this and my kids are often there with me.  So there is this vicious cycle of me pushing myself to do as much as I can to be present with my family and then falling asleep as soon as I am able to relax. The chronic sleep deprivation has no other cure.

I so very badly wanted to get through the entire gingerbread house decorating ritual with the family, especially after all the Yankee Swap trash talk (and to assuage the guilt of having fallen asleep earlier in the week while we were decorating the Christmas tree), but I JUST. COULD. NOT. FIGHT. THE. EXHAUSTION.  Time to find another family bonding ritual of the season (third time’s a charm, right?). Meanwhile, my doorless, decorless gingerbread house is flanked but the other three. I think they did a pretty nice job. Too bad I missed it.